Drummer Jokes - Good and Bad
Drummer Jokes - Good and Bad
Know any drummer jokes? My favorite: "He's a really good drummer,but he's just a beat off!" (insert rimshot here)
Well, this one really isn't a joke per se, but it's a funny thing I wrote a while back:
What I learned at the Guitar Center Drum Off
1. If you don't have a double bass pedal you haven't lived.
2. Grooves have no place in a drum-off, metal solos ONLY.
3. If you get out of rhythm, or completely suck to begin with, just lean in and bang harder.
4. If the drum heads aren't ruined for the next guy then you aren't going to win.
5. Wearing gloves for drumming is an inverse indicator of skill.
6. If you're the really hot mom of one of the contestants, stand in front of me the whole time. :-Q
7. Actually a corollary to #6, I'm OLD.
:-)
What I learned at the Guitar Center Drum Off
1. If you don't have a double bass pedal you haven't lived.
2. Grooves have no place in a drum-off, metal solos ONLY.
3. If you get out of rhythm, or completely suck to begin with, just lean in and bang harder.
4. If the drum heads aren't ruined for the next guy then you aren't going to win.
5. Wearing gloves for drumming is an inverse indicator of skill.
6. If you're the really hot mom of one of the contestants, stand in front of me the whole time. :-Q
7. Actually a corollary to #6, I'm OLD.
:-)
With apologies to everyone who loved him. (I'm sure he's laughing now)
A horn player who had been playing with Buddy Rich for many years came back from vacation to hear a rumor that Buddy had died. He didn't quite believe it, so he phoned Buddy's wife and said "Can I speak to Buddy please?"
Buddy's wife said, "I'm sorry, Buddy passed away last week."
"Oh, I'm sorry to hear that," he said, and hung up.
A couple of hours later, he called her again. "Is Buddy there please?"
"No, I'm sorry. Buddy's no longer with us," said Buddy's wife. And hung up the phone.
Ten minutes later, he called Buddy's wife again. "Can I speak to Buddy please?" he said.
She recognized his voice, and said: "Look, I've told you before, BUDDY'S DEAD!" And slammed down the phone.
Two minutes later, and the phone rang again... "Is Buddy at home please?" the horn player asked.
Buddy's wife was furious. "I'm not going to tell you again, Buddy is dead.. D. E. A. D., DEAD. Why do you keep calling me to ask for Buddy???!!!!"
The horn player replied, .."I just love hearing you say it."
A horn player who had been playing with Buddy Rich for many years came back from vacation to hear a rumor that Buddy had died. He didn't quite believe it, so he phoned Buddy's wife and said "Can I speak to Buddy please?"
Buddy's wife said, "I'm sorry, Buddy passed away last week."
"Oh, I'm sorry to hear that," he said, and hung up.
A couple of hours later, he called her again. "Is Buddy there please?"
"No, I'm sorry. Buddy's no longer with us," said Buddy's wife. And hung up the phone.
Ten minutes later, he called Buddy's wife again. "Can I speak to Buddy please?" he said.
She recognized his voice, and said: "Look, I've told you before, BUDDY'S DEAD!" And slammed down the phone.
Two minutes later, and the phone rang again... "Is Buddy at home please?" the horn player asked.
Buddy's wife was furious. "I'm not going to tell you again, Buddy is dead.. D. E. A. D., DEAD. Why do you keep calling me to ask for Buddy???!!!!"
The horn player replied, .."I just love hearing you say it."
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Randy Rudolph
- Posts: 19
- Joined: Tue Sep 03, 2002 9:47 am
How do you get a drummer off your front porch?
-Pay him for the pizza.
What's the difference between a drummer and a large pizza?
-the pizza can feed a family of four.
My favorite one of these isn't about drummers, but here it is:
How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?
-none, the keyboard player can do it with his left hand.
-Pay him for the pizza.
What's the difference between a drummer and a large pizza?
-the pizza can feed a family of four.
My favorite one of these isn't about drummers, but here it is:
How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?
-none, the keyboard player can do it with his left hand.
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matthew medeiros
- Posts: 161
- Joined: Mon Apr 03, 2006 6:43 pm
- Location: Hollister Ca.
- Contact:
more jokes
what is the definition of perfect pitch?....... when you throw the accordion in the dumpster and it lands on the banjo.
what do you call a beautiful woman on an accordion players arm?......... A Tatoo!!
Whats the difference between a banjo and a bucket of manure?........ the bucket.
What does a Saxaphone player call a song with all 32nd notes?.A ballad
Do you know how to get a bass player to quiet down?.............. put sheet music in front of him, how do you get him to stop altogether? put notes on the music
What's the difference between an accordion player and a frog?..............the frog has a better chance of going to a gig (ya have to know what a frog gig is)
How do you know when the stage is out of level?................ the_____________player is drooling out of the left side of his mouth.........Let me know if you want to hear more
Whats the difference between a trampoline and an accordion?..................nobody minds when you jump on an accordion
How many lead singers to change a light bulb?................one, they hold the bulb and the world turns around them.
how many union riggers does it take to do cartage for a show?............... 112, ya gotta problem wid dat? (with south bronx accent)
what do you call a beautiful woman on an accordion players arm?......... A Tatoo!!
Whats the difference between a banjo and a bucket of manure?........ the bucket.
What does a Saxaphone player call a song with all 32nd notes?.A ballad
Do you know how to get a bass player to quiet down?.............. put sheet music in front of him, how do you get him to stop altogether? put notes on the music
What's the difference between an accordion player and a frog?..............the frog has a better chance of going to a gig (ya have to know what a frog gig is)
How do you know when the stage is out of level?................ the_____________player is drooling out of the left side of his mouth.........Let me know if you want to hear more
Whats the difference between a trampoline and an accordion?..................nobody minds when you jump on an accordion
How many lead singers to change a light bulb?................one, they hold the bulb and the world turns around them.
how many union riggers does it take to do cartage for a show?............... 112, ya gotta problem wid dat? (with south bronx accent)
Matthew
All that accordion talk reminds me of...
The accordion player who parks his car downtown. After he walks a block or so he realizes his instrument is in the back seat and wonders if he should have locked the car. He decides it's safe enough and doesn't go back to lock it. He shops a while, and when he returns to his car, he finds TWO accordions in the back seat.
The accordion player who parks his car downtown. After he walks a block or so he realizes his instrument is in the back seat and wonders if he should have locked the car. He decides it's safe enough and doesn't go back to lock it. He shops a while, and when he returns to his car, he finds TWO accordions in the back seat.
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matthew medeiros
- Posts: 161
- Joined: Mon Apr 03, 2006 6:43 pm
- Location: Hollister Ca.
- Contact:
That's not a joke, it's a true storyzimbop wrote:All that accordion talk reminds me of...
The accordion player who parks his car downtown. After he walks a block or so he realizes his instrument is in the back seat and wonders if he should have locked the car. He decides it's safe enough and doesn't go back to lock it. He shops a while, and when he returns to his car, he finds TWO accordions in the back seat.
Matthew